Wednesday, July 17, 2013

@sexoutthecity's timeline on Twitter

Tweets

  1. Shout out to my followers. I'm adding a new level to the spaceship & installing hot tubs. Also some extra oxygen for the heavy breathers. xx
  2. If you mean, lost decade raising birthday pony after parents missed sarcasm in gift request, then, yes. I had a bad childhood.
  3. “This new Pope tastes like the old Pope.” ~suspicious, superstitious parishioner, probably
  4. For future reference my safe word is ouch
  5. The results are in. When the shit hits the fan, dried turds are preferred.
  6. Twitter is just like real life. Nobody listens to a word I say there either :(
  7. In a world where humans had porcupine quills. I'd invent little rubber balls to put on the tips, that made music when they hit each other.
  8. I just want a situation to arise where I can yell "SHAME ON YOU" to someone.
  9. I keep a pack of candy cigarettes in my pocket for Sesame Street cred.
  10. i pour a little water on the floor for all my fallen ice cubes. melt in peace, homiez.
  11. Keeps his hands up, elbows tucked in, or I gotta quit chin-bopping him. He goes, “I am Iron Man,” then stops paying attention.
  12. Kept asking if I could get one. Finally got one. But, now I’m not exactly sure what to do with this what-what.
  13. A smarter person woulda realized climbing into this KFC bucket was gonna be almost impossible before he got halfway up the pole.
  14. “Too much acidity. Bad gas. Baking soda n’ water. Need to burp it up like a baby n’ shit.” ~Queen/David Bowie song, rough draft
  15. “I’ve got too much thyme on my hands,” the renegade told the blue collar man. “That’s why I can’t pick up chicks with sticks.”
  16. I'm one app away from everything making sense.
  17. Kept asking if I could get one. Finally got one. But, I’m not really sure exactly how this what-what thing works.
  18. A guy can't spell, Bingo, wrong one time without a whole roomful of old people getting upset? Lady, enough with the umbrella.
  19. God is really a 47 year old virgin that owns 36 cats and lives in his mom's basement that has a cult following cause people think he's Tupac
  20. What did one voice say to the other? *I don't know, I shot it before it could finish* That explains the headache... *blinks* «facepalm»
  21. I know women like to be mysterious, but turn signals are for safety.
  22. I once knew a man who made a room out of garage doors & showed films of his wife giving him head. It was odd but the films were fairly good.
  23. My favorite song is 'Why I'm Angry About Stuff' by Twitter.
  24. roll your lunchmeats into little tunnels so i can put my cheeto in there
  25. I would imagine, if you had a long enough guitar cord you could lead all the hippies out of town playing smoke on the water
  26. i wonder what people did with cans before there were can openers
  27. At this point in my life I would just be happy owning a few chickens and a box of store bought tampons outright.
  28. Miley Cyrus Rock Mafia - "It's A.. ..Liberty Walk" music video, feat: Occupy Wall Street footage Love & anarchy. :0)
  29. Jed's A Millionaire: 'Eyes Are Open' (video) "If you could change the world, tell me what would you have it to be?"
  30. Reality tv ideas- hippie hunter.
  31. I'm on the all your twitter boyfriends make me hurl diet.
  32. "I like to think of it as more than just stupid." ~my reply to all responses about my most recent idea
  33. Here, banter is our religion. Wit is our creed.
  34. I…just walked into TWO trees.
  35. You should quit your job and spend more time on your eyebrows.
  36. Defend you? Pfft. Not if it'll cost me my Favstar status.
  37. I was just told I shouldn't say things about where Hoffa may be found, so, I will not tell u he's currently enjoying a burrito on Bagley Ave
  38. Over the counter medications for severe mental disturbances would take out the embarrassing necessity for a full evaluation by a doctor.
  39. Were I not in the process of coming to power right now, I would be rioting.
  40. In retrospect, I probably shoulda paused the game sooner.. Or worn the helmet that breathes and splurged for insurance.. Or folded.
  41. I like their crop circles. They talk to me. I let ‘em chow a few animals. But, that voice: “More cow, Beelzebub?” ..Drives me nuts.
  42. ~ I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. - Maya Angelou, ♥
  43. As a local, I used to listen to Journey. Unless I took a trip. If I did, I would then play Foreigner, & Page the Village Idiot.
  44. When you said you wanted to see me shine, I didn't know you meant get on my knees & stay there until I'm reflecting from your shoes.
  45. Famous last words: "I am not a piñata."
  46. RT : Sitting home thinking of ways to dominate the earth. Must get songs out.
  47. “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ― George Bernard Shaw
  48. Whispering Pines "Tell Me All The Things You Do"@ The Echo, Echo Park CA 11-1-10 via
  49. You Really Got Me with The Instant Classics, Matt Manor and Greg Miller - Taste 2010 via
  50. Todd jumps into the crowd at the Instant Classics Video shoot at Scottsdale Studios via
  51. Jed' s A Millionaire performs Elton John's Rocket Man live in Hollywood via
  52. Never take anything too seriously.

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